It

Today is Sunday; and in my opinion, it is EARLY.  Brownie, our wonderful dog, woke me up because she was licking herself...lol  I have laundry to do anyway, but I haven't made a move on it. 

I miss it (not the laundry).  I realize as I think about it that it is no different than the opposite - than what I have now.  You have the fights and the outcasts and all the other things.  I don't want it though.  I guess I just miss the person I shared it with.  It has been way too long, and I miss her very much.  She would have been 31 on the 6th.  I miss that I can't call her on the phone and vent about my husband.  I hate that I can't give her a hug OR that she can't give me one when I really need one.  She was always so good at making me feel better.  My husband has been distant for some reason or another...or maybe it is me...I have been carrying more than my load in this time, and I just do what I have to do.  It's frustrating, but I know that I don't want to regret anything.  I want to live, breath and be happy.  I won't waste my life because she would not be happy with me, and I would not be happy with myself!